Signals

Constantly running from the room to check his text messages. His whispered late-night phone calls. Lipstick on his collar. Honey, even if you didn't see it, we knew hell was ready to break loose. Then last Monday, your TV and Netflix had a real blow up. I know, I know. Breaking up always breaks your heart. But I think it's better this way.

The War to End All Wars, finally, is over. The world breathes a sigh of relief. But what if, impossibly, there is another war? What if that new form of warfare, aerial warfare, is again unleashed against Britain? Surely we must prepare a defense against it. A sonic defense.

Your phone has a 100 million-times more computing power than the Apollo guidance computer that landed men on the moon! How many times have you heard that? In fact, that is probably a reasonably true statement, and perhaps even underestimates just how powerful today's phones are. But one thing hasn't changed much since 1969, or even since its invention in 1925 - the dynamic loudspeakers in the astronaut's helmet headsets.

Aereo, as you'll recall, collected over-the-air TV signals and distributed them to its subscribers via the Internet. With any kind of web access such as a browser, phone, tablet or connected TV, you could access a cloud DVR and watch content anywhere. But, as you may also recall, that business model was judged to be illegal. Aereo had its plug pulled. But now, TiVo is working to revive an Aereo-type model.

I am deeply disappointed that many of you are still viewing a 1080p display. I mean, seriously. Why don’t you just take two rocks and bang them together and consider yourself technologically advanced? Don’t you realize that you are missing all of the nuance in the picture? Frankly, with such a low resolution, can you even tell if the display is turned on or not? 1080p is a joke. I want you to take your phone and just drop it in the toilet right now. That’s right - we’re talking about phone displays.