Signals

Alert readers will recall that I recently heaped praises on TeslaMic, an in-car karaoke technology that gives Tesla owners the opportunity to unleash their inner Mick Jagger. Now, unfortunately, it's time for some Tesla scorn, courtesy of our Federal overlords.

I have bad news for you. Really bad news. The TeslaMic is sold out. I know – it is soul crushing. Your dreams of karaoke world domination have been shattered.

The year is 1969. I am sitting in front of my family’s TV watching live black-and-white video from the moon. High-definition TV is still science fiction, but in the blurry picture I can see Neil Armstrong descend the ladder and step onto the lunar surface. In the middle of the transmission, I walk outside and look up at the moon, waxing crescent, thoroughly amazed that for the first time people are up there looking back at me. Now, almost a lifetime later, we are preparing to go back to the moon. Just writing that sentence gives me goosebumps.

Girlfriend, I feel for you, I really do. Why can't people just accept the fact that you are a music genius? You know why they hate you? It's because they can't be you. If you win the case, they'll say you are banal, uncreative, and unoriginal. And if you lose the case, you will have plagiarized and have to pay tons of $$$ damages. It's just not fair.

I usually don’t talk to myself, but the other day I was sitting down to my favorite breakfast, a stack of delicious Eggo buttermilk waffles, and I exclaimed out loud, “Man, I need to buy some more syrup!” Later that day, browsing on my PC, I got a pop-up ad for Vermont maple syrup. I exclaimed, “Wow! What a coincidence!” And then my life spiraled out of control.

I hate Covid. You hate Covid. We all hate Covid. But we love home theater. That creates the circumstances for an interesting scenario that economists refer to as “revenge spending.”

What sound does a cow make? That question should not stump you. What sound does a car make? That question is more difficult. For example, Vroom Vroom, or Hmmmm? Or maybe, Ta-Da! Increasingly, the sound a car makes is entirely up to the automaker, and you.