FRED MANTEGHIAN BLOG

Whenever I see the five interlocked Olympic rings, I think of one thing: Audi cars. Okay, they have only four rings, but I'm definitely more interested in driving cars than watching the Olympics, particularly the winter Olympics. Bryant Gumbel noted last week that it's the "paucity of blacks that makes the Winter Games look like a GOP convention." Of course, we all know that's a lie. Bryant Gumbel has never even been to a Republican convention!

Not that I'm immune to the 24x7 Olympic coverage and nonstop mentions on NBC, MSNBC and CNBC. The luge event, where human rockets soar down winding ice troughs, is always interesting during commercials breaks. I like to pretend they can't get hurt. At least I can't get hurt watching.

If you're a fight fan, er, I mean a hockey fan, the winter Olympics are probably a lot of fun for you too. Pakistan vs India is on today. Is it just me, or does anyone else think that two countries who detest each other enough to build and point nuclear missiles at each other should avoid unnecessary provocation. Take two mantras and call me in the morning.

What's with Figure Skating? Who watches this crap anyway? I think Fox should take over the event and replace it with "Skating with Celebrities." It gets better ratings than the Olympic event anyway, although I don't know where they get off calling Deborah Gibson a celebrity.

I don't ski, but I like watching people flying through the air. It's like a James Bond movie, except for the officiating and lack of gunfire.

And speaking of gunfire, I've got an idea for a new Olympic event. Lame Duck Hunting. Vice President Dick Cheney can throw out the opening round. Competitors drive to the wildlife preserve, get out and shoot at each other. Everybody ducks. The results are not reported for 24 hours.

Want to check on the Olympic events online? Good luck. Someone at NBC thought using little flags to represent the names of the countries would be cute. Sure is. I recognize Old Glory. Which one is Tajekestan? Is Ronald McDonald really entered in the bobsled events? I guess all we have to know is that if the stars and stripes aren't at the top of the column, we're not getting the gold.

I watched a half hour of curling the other night. Finally, something to interest golf spectators while the links are under snow. Curling is like Boccie ball for Norwegians. Lots of strategy and thermal underwear. I think the bowling leagues of America are safe for the time being.

The winter Olympics – making even the worst black level LCD panels look good.