CES 2014

I have long regarded refrigerators as being the most selfish of the kitchen appliances. Toasters, for example, must exert tremendous heat to partially carbonize my toast, and blenders, the poor things, whip themselves into a frenzy as they mush things up. In contrast, fridges mainly just stand there, self-absorbed, trying to look cool, intentionally not sharing their air conditioning with the rest of the kitchen. Recognizing this, Whirlpool has dramatically reinvented the refrigerator - transforming it from aloof SOB, to DJ party animal.

Whirlpool will begin selling a refrigerator with a CoolVox Sound System. Equipped with Harman Kardon playback, complete with amplifiers and speakers built into the fridge, the appliance is ready to play your favorite tunes. Of course, it has Bluetooth, so pairing your iPhone with your refrigerator is as easy as pie. The CoolVox was previously shown as a concept product, but food and music lovers will rejoice to hear that the actual fridge will be available, exclusively at Lowe's, this summer.

Music, audiobooks, podcasts - whatever you choose, the fridge becomes the heart and soul of your kitchen-appliance entertainment center. And what could be a better fit for the bulky box. Everyone knows that truly good loudspeakers must be floor-standing, tall, heavy, and basically impossible to move without hurting your back. A refrigerator thus makes an ideal loudspeaker; the only adjustment in our thinking is that this loudspeaker is cool inside, and has a special tray for eggs. Also, it makes ice. I am surprised that other loudspeaker manufacturers never thought of this. Kudos to Whirlpool. Who knew that refrigeration engineers were such cool guys?

I am excited about this product. I asked Whirlpool executives if I could put two of the fridges in my kitchen, and get stereo. Or how about 5.1 of them, for a complete home-kitchen experience? They frowned, and apparently thought I was pulling their legs. Actually, I was being completely serious. Also, I think a CoolVox Kegerator would be really awesome.