The Gawker

Dubious achievements are flooding the consumer electronics and broadcast industries. In our second annual Trasher Awards, we single out the most noteworthy companies and products. So, in the spirit of informative condemnation, our 2024 Trashers go to:

• WCBS TV for abruptly cutting in with the local news amid Piano Man during a live Billy Joel concert from Madison Square Garden. Fans who had been dancing in front of their couches were flabbergasted, dejected, and outraged. Why couldn’t CBS have cut off The Masters that had run over earlier in the evening so that Joel could’ve started on time? (The network humbly reran the concert in its entirety the following week.)

• TV coverage of the April 8 North American total eclipse in which producers lit up their correspondents with flood lights. Maybe it’s me, but wouldn’t their words have been more evocative if they were reporting in darkness?

• TiVo for belatedly discovering a new revenue stream by inserting commercials ahead of users playing their recordings. That’s right! The brand associated with ad-skipping figured customers must want more commercials.

• 1Mii, a Shenzhen, China-based company that makes wireless receiving devices, for listing on the package for its Bluetooth add-on to an old stereo receiver that “In the Box” is a “Power adapter (optional).” Make up your mind! Consumers don’t like being surprised.

• The speech-to-text algorithm used during a live presentation from the Consumer Electronics Show that repeatedly called the company normally known as LG “algae.” You’d think it would at least capitalize Algae.

• Roku for patenting a technology for inserting commercials via an HDMI cable when the cable detects you’ve paused a program.

• Netflix which announced the inclusion of football in its offerings with the tagline “You can’t spell Netflix without NFL.” To those who signed up for Netflix for movies and Korean dramas—not football—I’d point out that you also can’t spell Netflix without “ex”—as in ex-subscriber.

• Kodak for introducing a retro Super-8 movie camera with LCD viewfinder and SD card slot but omitting the once commonplace capability to shoot single frames—something video cameras can’t do. Having spent my teens animating real objects like billiard balls to dance on film, it’s a shame the Kodak Super 8 Camera ($5,495) contains a hole you can drive a Matchbox truck through.

• Amazon Prime Video for withdrawing support of Dolby Vision high dynamic range and Dolby Atmos audio in the streaming subscription that’s included when you sign up for an Amazon Prime membership ($14.99 per month or $139 per year). If you do want those essential home theater perks—and to bid good riddance to commercials, too—you’ll have to pay an additional $3 a month.

• Hallmark, which is launching the Hallmark+ Streaming Service this fall just in time for holiday movies. It’s exactly what we need—another streaming service, this one being $7.99 per month or $79.99 per year. We wonder how many people, whose heartstrings have been amply tugged, will cancel come January.

• Redbox, which is shuttering their DVD-rental kiosks. The end was inevitable considering how streaming has inundated home movie consumption. But I wonder: couldn’t the company simply change its name from “box” to “Bull” and vend energy drinks? No returns necessary.

• The FakeTV FTV-11 ($40) which simulates the light of an active television to make potential burglars think someone is at home. As comedian Bill Maher quipped, “Shop around because for $50 you can buy an actual TV.”

• The Television Academy for nominating The Bear for an Emmy under the category “Outstanding Comedy Series.” Sure, parts are funny, but it’s really a dramatic series. Maybe the Academy should also have nominated The Sopranos as a comedy because of Tony’s relationship with his mother and the singing fish on the wall.

• Holsten’s, a diner in Bloomfield, New Jersey, that failed to include the jukebox selector as part of the booth when it auctioned the table and seats used on location for the final scene of The Sopranos. The buyer is now forever relegated to yelling: “Alexa, play Journey’s Don’t Stop Believin’.”

• YouTube videos that show every page of TV Guide’s fall preview issues from past decades. As the pages are paused and turned, the video is accompanied by TV themes from the same season. What a colossal time waster (I can’t stop playing)!

• An A.I.-generated Al Michaels voice dishing out customized Olympic coverage on the Peacock app. A.I.-Al addresses users by name, then runs down results of competitions they’ve checked. NBC says the bot was trained by listening to thousands of hours of Michaels in the broadcast booth. Of course, it might get redundant hearing “Do you believe in miracles? YES!” every time your team wins.

• My choice of location for screwing in a smart lightbulb: a ceiling fixture above the kitchen work area. After linking it to our smart speaker, I’d say, “Alexa, turn the light rainbow.” Alexa would respond, “Okay,” and the light would mutate from white to green to turquoise to blue to purple to magenta to red until my wife would say, “Alexa, turn the light white.” And the light returned to normal. The trouble was the colors weren’t bright enough to illuminate practical chores like slicing vegetables. If I was smarter than the smart bulb, I would have installed it in the man cave.