SIGNALS

Question: What is the difference between wood-burning fireplaces, and solar panels? The difference between Colt Single Action Army revolvers, and Glocks? The difference between Mabel's Rib Shack, and McDonald's? Answer: The former have souls. The latter do not. Which brings us to today's news item, concerning Lamborghini.

Yes, Lamborghinis have their fair share of soulless (often binary) bits. But it is a theologically verifiable fact that Lamborghini automobiles have a soul. And it is soul that we are talking about here. Dictionarily, I quote: “the spiritual or immaterial part of a human being or animal [or Lamborghini] regarded as immortal... an emotional or intellectual energy or intensity especially as revealed in a work of art [such as a Lamborghini].

And you know what else has a soul? Vinyl records and turntables. Obviously.

Thus, today's news item provided me with a rebirth, a kind of spiritual awakening. You see, Lamborghini announced that it will produce a vinyl record, a kind of greatest-hits compilation, of its sweetest-sounding V-12 engines. It goes without saying that Italian V-12 engines also have souls. As if that wasn't enough, you can spin that platter on a new Lamborghini-branded turntable.

The details: Lamborghini teamed up with Technics to make this happen. The SL-1200M7B turntable is made by Technics. The deck plate boldly displays the car maker's “Y” motif, and to dispel any doubt, the platter mat has the full monty Lamborghini raging bull emblem.

The raison d'être record comes bundled with the turntable. It features the angelic sounds of six iconic V-12 engines, ranging from vintage to modern: 400GT 2+2, Miura SV, 25th Anniversary Countach, Diablo 6.0 SE, Murciélago LP 640, and Revuelto. Vroom vroom. Just for fun, the record is imprinted with a picture of the wheel and tire of a Revuelto.

The cost? As they say with anything Lamborghini, if you have to ask, you can't afford it. Actually, the turntable is based on the Technics SL-1200MK7 which sells for around $1,100. The new Lambo version will sell for $1,600. Factor in the Italian supercar tax.

Will the turntable and record sell as fast as a Lamborghini can lap Monza? I don't know, but the pre-order books opened in May, and will close at the end of June. Factor in the FOMO tax.

Finally, no mention of Lamborghini would be complete without repeating the oft-told (and possibly true) story of the company's origin. Ferruccio Lamborghini owned a company that manufactured tractors. He also owned several Ferraris. He was dissatisfied with the clutch in his cars and told Enzo Ferrari that he needed to make improvements. Enzo dismissed Ferruccio's complaint, and said something along the lines of, “The clutch is not the problem. The problem is you don't know how to drive a Ferrari and you break the clutch. Let me make cars. You stick to making tractors.” Then and there, Lamborghini resolved to make automobiles that would rival Ferrari. The rest, as they say, is history.

Coincidentally, as any petrol head will tell you, it is an historical fact that Porsche also made tractors for a time.

Also, tractors have souls. Obviously.